Depression jokes
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
I hate life, and I'm gay.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Can I die?
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.