Depression jokes

My friend has a dry sense of humor.

Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.

These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide squad.

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

Depression hits harder than my dad.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

Can I die?

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.