Depression jokes
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.
✨ Depression and anxiety ✨
I need a hug.
*hugs train*