Depression jokes

I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?

Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.

Friend: Why?

Me: So they would hang themselves.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.

✨ Depression and anxiety ✨

I need a hug.

*hugs train*

Let's have toast in the bath.

Wanna come hang out with me?

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.