Depression jokes

Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

What's the most annoying thing in the world?

When you're told you're still qualified to live.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.

You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.