Depression jokes
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.