Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
Depression Jokes
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
I got jealous when my phone died.
Orphans: Sad, Depressed, Lonely, Virgin.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
