Depression jokes

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.

Ethan Fennel

Wanna hear a joke? Me.

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."