Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up.
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
What do you tell a dead metal fan? Rust in peace
You've probably heard this one before but screw it
What's the difference between jesus christ and the kid I just killed Jesus christ probably died a virign
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car? idk I just have a couple in the backseat
you should never try afgani weed becuse people in afganistan get stoned to death
What happened after technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
My grief counsellor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
