Death

Death jokes

Skeleton

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

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  • Drunkard

    When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

    Canoe

    A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

    The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

    And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

    The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

    The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

    The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

    And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

    Memes

    Comic

    Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…

    A three-panel comic strip from the Joking Hazard Random Comic Generator. The first panel shows two figures. One says, "My wife just died." The second panel shows the same two figures now smiling at each other. The third panel shows one of them saying, "HELL YEAH!" The comic generator website is titled "RANDOM COMIC GENERATOR 3.0" with the description "Millions of combinations! Create and share your own!".

    Baby

    How did the dead baby cross the road?

    It was strapped to the chicken.

  • 2
  • Uncle

    When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

    Fish

    What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

    The fish can swim.

  • 0
  • Orgasm

    What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

    I don't care if she has either.

    Bus

    Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

    Because he got hit by a bus.

    Funeral

    At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

    Garden

    SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

    MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

    Song

    What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...

    Let the bodies hit the floor.