Death jokes
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.