Death jokes

Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.

Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!

Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-

Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

Sleep, but make it forever.

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

What’s the best time to commit suicide?

8 a’glock in the morning.

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.

For sale: Dead canary.

Not going cheep.

I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"

I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.