Death jokes
I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
What would you do if you were killed?
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.