Death jokes
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
It works, my brother has never slept better
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
Sleep, but make it forever.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.