Death jokes
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
Why drink water and not bleach?
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.