Death Jokes

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?

One stays quiet forever...

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…

A three-panel comic strip from the Joking Hazard Random Comic Generator. The first panel shows two figures. One says, "My wife just died." The second panel shows the same two figures now smiling at each other. The third panel shows one of them saying, "HELL YEAH!" The comic generator website is titled "RANDOM COMIC GENERATOR 3.0" with the description "Millions of combinations! Create and share your own!".

What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?

They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”

What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?

Coldplay.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

Why did Paul Walker cross the street?

Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?

You untie the rope.

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.