Death jokes
Little Johnny died.
Suicide
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Penis, neck, rope?
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Why am I happy? I'm dead.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.