Death jokes
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Little Johnny died.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
Suicide
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Why am I happy? I'm dead.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Penis, neck, rope?
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.