Death jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Why am I happy? I'm dead.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Penis, neck, rope?
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).