Death jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?
Because his last parents existed.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.