Death jokes
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Memes
deep. cleaning. :K
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
I would tell a joke, but Iβm sad my dad died in 9/11. Heβs the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.
I canβt wait for collage....
5 min later, ight Iβm gonna go kill myself.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.