Death jokes
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
Why don't orphans play Minecraft?
Because Technoblade is on the platform.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
A happy family.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?