Death

Death jokes

Patient

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

Gun

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

Man

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

Shooting

What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.

Sally

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Animal

What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.

Dandruff

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

Orphan

What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.

What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.

Character

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

Sister

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Orphan

Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.

Head

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.