Death jokes
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Dead.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
Ammon died.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Jeffrey Epstein was a disgusting person, but he could tie a good hangman's knot.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.