Death jokes
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Memes
Death
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.