Death jokes
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.