Death jokes
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?