Death jokes
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Memes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
Haha, dead.
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
You know Sally? She's dead now.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
My mom died.