Death jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

My mom died.

You know Sally? She's dead now.

What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

Kill yourself!

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?

A pool table.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.

Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday...

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

He's dead now.

Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?

Nothing, they both can’t breathe.

I just wanted to write something random.

And now my wife is dead.