Death jokes
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.