Death jokes

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because dad never came home with the milk.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?

They're the same thing.