Death jokes
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.