Death jokes

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

If I die, delete my search history.

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

Someone dies.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

"Him and his dead family." :(

Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

What's a dead person's favorite sentence?

"I made it."

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?

Everywhere.

Why can’t orphans have milk?

Because their dad never came back.

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."