Death jokes
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
I killed myself, then woke up.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?
A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."