Death jokes

Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.

Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?

His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

"Death to the west!"

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Not your parents!

A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.

Which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.

What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?

My ex-wife.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.