Death jokes
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
I got jealous when my phone died.
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.