Death

Death jokes

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What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?

The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?

The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.

Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!

Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?

His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.