Death jokes

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because dad never came home with the milk.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.