Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Death Jokes
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
