Death jokes
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.