Dead jokes
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Why though?
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"