Dead jokes
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Why though?
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?
Jeffrey Epstein.
A little boy enters Michael Joseph Jackson's house with a doll, and Michael looks angrily at the boy. But the little boy says something that makes Michael jealous: "The girl is mine." Michael cries and asks the boy to leave. A child is saved, and more are, thanks to Conrad Murray and June 25th, dead pedophile day.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."