Dead jokes
Why is Broly always mad?
Answer: His bros dead.
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Look, it's the dead center of town!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
I'm dead inside.
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"