A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
I ate a man because he was dead!
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
I'm Gay.
