Dead jokes
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Why though?