What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
Dead Jokes
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
My dog died today. 😥
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
The walking dead.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
