When ur husband can’t afford for a punching bag he uses his wife
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Anonymous:why are you crying Anonymous 2:no buddy come to my finral
I didn't steal it🌚
die
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, "how is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?" The 1st friend said, "well you see Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious? the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there's Joe with those 2 assholes."
why is rape worse than death?
because dead people get way more attention
What have the films the 6th sense and Titanic got in common?
Icy Dead people
why did the monkey fall out of the tree he was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree he was also dead why did the third monkey fall out of the tree monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree he was stapled to the first one
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour? Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Worry I am dead
What's worst than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? 1 baby in 2 trash bins.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...
What is the difference between Madeline Macan and a Submarine..... they are both full of sea men and are at the bottom of the ocean
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Roses are red, violets are blue, fortnite is dead and so are you.
Yo momma so ugly she gets rejected by dead people.
a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What do you call a dead hooker? It doesn't matter she won't answer you.
