Dead jokes
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
If museums are full of dead things... Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Your mom gay.
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."