Dead jokes

Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Your life.

Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.

How can one make Death Row a little more fun?

Musical electric chairs.

The teacher is asking you a question.

Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"

Me: "Dead."

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?

What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."

I just wanted to write something random.

And now my wife is dead.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?

Nothing, he was dead.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.