Dead jokes
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.