i will never forget my girlfriends last words..."get off of me STOP"*slurp*...Dead
whats the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Don’t say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he is DEAD.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real and if they were you would be dead.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
what do you call an emo person whos not depressed? dead.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. Its not dead, just afraid to move.
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge. ..So they can reunite with their dead family
Mom asks “Why are you are THIS show??? It’s DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!” The child says “Don’t you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?” Mon whispers “Oh, you DEAD.”
What is the difference between A dead body and a Lamborghini I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
What do you get when cayden steals your sandwich a nuckle sandwich
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, fortnite is dead and so are you.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?