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Die

Anonymous

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

Baby

menemajeff

what’s better then throwing dead babe’s? catching them after with a pitch fork

Baby

Anonymous

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

Means

Bushra

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Snail

Wolfy

What do you call a snail without a shell? Dead

Difference

Dreameater69

What’s the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don’t have a million dollars laying around my house.

Sister

MONSTER

went to my friend’s house fucked his sister

i hade a fun fenaral / birthday

Baby

MURDOC NICCALS

What’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive. What’s worse than that? The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.

Cow

the big mom

a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

Astronaut

Trumpenstein

Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.

Girl

Anonymous

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what’s the matter little girl?" She points off the cliff and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside all mangled and dead. The man unbuckles his pants and says, “Little girl, today just ain’t your day.”

Cross

Anonymous

Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?

because they’re dead

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Paint

Anonymous

Did you hear about the dead artist

Too many strokes

Ride

NCN

Why can’t Cleopatra ride a bicycle? Because she’s dead.

Nothing

Anonymous

What is Beethoven doing right now? Nothing, because he is dead.

Difference

Death

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby’s and a red Ferrari? I don’t have the Ferrari.

Wife

big daddy

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: “so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down” and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I’m just fuckin with u she’s DEAD!"

Fish

Anonymous

What do u call a downy under water

Dead fish

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat? The cat is still alive. What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner? Nothing it’s all just mystery meat.

Baby

Lucas phillips

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head? Stopping it with the shovel

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