Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Dead Jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
