Dead Jokes

I was going to tell a dead baby joke... *I decided to abort*

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Because their dead.

What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan? The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

46. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

52. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

54. What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What is the difference between a 100 dead babies and a mustang challenger? i dont have a mustang challenger in my garage

What do you do when you see a a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going into circles

wanna know why kobe can't shoot

because he's dead

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me: *makes chuck norris meme* Internet: *all the other memes are dead now* Me: well shit.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative, nothing they both make you cry when you look at it

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́

Why can’t Helen Keller have kids? A: She’s dead.

What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat? The cat is still alive. What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner? Nothing it’s all just mystery meat.