Day

Day jokes

Girl

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Job

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Gun

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

Reader

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

Banana

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

Ex

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

Lunch

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Calculator

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

Virgin

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Bank

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

Rose

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Friend

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Country

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

Couch

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

Plane

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

Day Off

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

Phone

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."