Day jokes
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
why th
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?