Day jokes

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"

Good night.

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

What two things can you never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

What is the difference between snow boots on Earth Day, today, after dinner, and walking home?