Day jokes
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.