Day jokes
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"