Day jokes

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

Someday you'll go far.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

When do cows moo? Moosday.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for