My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Defenity peeing with an erection
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
