Day jokes

Today is the day, time for more jokes!

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

Someday you'll go far.

When do cows moo? Moosday.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.

Then it hit me.

I poo 11 times a day.