Why is the pizza place busy because it’s pizza day 😂
I just wanted to say Prince that that "qwen you were chating with is totally fake! I havn't talked to you all day I swear!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day
What's a rapper's favorite day of the week?
FREESTYLE FRIDAY
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age. It was really heavy on me.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes
what do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day? a lazy bones!
Your forehead so big it takes 3-4 business days
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
2 Kids told their parents they saw a man late a night entering their house on Christmas night The day later they found out several houses were robbed
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
why tranny say have a good day to jew? he goy goy
my kid runs in to day to tell me that he found a floating cow but when he got me to come and see all i saw was a pinata with a tail and white spots such a stuipid child so after that i gave him a nice refeshing drink from the tolit and a few of those choclet sprincles. (: in such a good parent...
one day i caught my sister talking to my girlfriend and she said "you never told me your Lesbian" and i said "no,not at all" my girlfriend ask "why did you not tell her" and i said " because every time i bring a girl home i hear to much noise in her room and i never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash" and she said "yeah,the trash is her junk"
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him Rachel said. Watch two martial arts movies , eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar. Jim replied with a shocked look, that's what I do after Mr tugman shakes my hand to long.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day, when suddenly Johnny said,"Mom I think I'm gonna throw up" Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there". Johnny comes back a minute later and his mom asks,"Did you make it?", then Johnny said,"No, but there was a box by the door that SAID For The Sick"
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, Will I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, I will celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.
May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. I will grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.
one night a father heard his daugter saying good night good night mom god night dad good night mamah good by papa the next day her papa died he heard her saying them a month later good night mom god night dad good by mamah the next day her mamah died well her dad was scared for his life he knew he was next well his daugter said them again good night mom good by dad the next day the mail man droped dead on their porch.
