Day jokes
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What day are twins born the most?
Toos-day.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
When do cows moo? Moosday.
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."