Day jokes

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

Hi, how are you doing today?

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?

Because they don't have a Father's Day.

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.

Then it hit me.

What did the water say to the cup?

"Good day!"

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.