Day jokes

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

What day are twins born the most?

Toos-day.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

Hi, how are you doing today?

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?

Because they don't have a Father's Day.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”