Day jokes

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

Hi, how are you doing today?

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.