Dating jokes

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

Thank God I went on the tenth.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.

12/8?

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Your love life.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!