Dating jokes
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Crazy how the meanest girls are always some of the ugliest.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.
Why are women like parking spots?
Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.