Dating jokes

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.