Dating jokes

Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!

Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!

Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!

Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.

What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.