Dating jokes
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"