I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Dating Jokes
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
