Dating jokes
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Memes
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.