Dating jokes

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Why does the basketball never get a date?

Because they dribble.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.