Dating jokes

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Girls are like blackjack.

I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Dr. Seuss dark jokes.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

What's the best part about duck tape?

It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"

It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?