My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
What do you call mo on a dating website? tissue face
I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
I DO’NT WANT T DATE A ALEIN
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men then she ask me you wanna give a judgemental reaction about that? I said ok you smell rat pee on somebody's cock.
Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
My chance of finding love
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"
(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)
what do you call a butter without an expiration date
a miracle butter because wow!
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. so when i was little, i met this girl. her name was Leah. we were besties for a while until i turned 13. then i asked if she wanted to date me. she said yes! but one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. i was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in galilee during the roman occupation? An Itallian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated