Dating jokes
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
Don’t think, just do, live in the now, don’t care about the future, yeeeeee
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men. 25 at a time.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.