Dating jokes
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.