Dating jokes
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
you get
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/