Dating Jokes

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist

Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"

(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)

TJ GWEN just shut the hell up

NOT A DATING WEBSITE

Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men then she ask me you wanna give a judgemental reaction about that? I said ok you smell rat pee on somebody's cock.

9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.

What do you call mo on a dating website? tissue face

I DO’NT WANT T DATE A ALEIN

I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

My chance of finding love

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. so when i was little, i met this girl. her name was Leah. we were besties for a while until i turned 13. then i asked if she wanted to date me. she said yes! but one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. i was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

what do you call a butter without an expiration date

a miracle butter because wow!

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in galilee during the roman occupation? An Itallian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated