Dating jokes
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
Memes
My love life.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.