Dating jokes

What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."

My love life.

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Girls are like blackjack.

I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.