Date jokes
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
The spotify time bar thing is a light saber when listening to star wars soundtracks
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
7-Eleven
8-Eleven
9/11
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!