Date jokes
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
What month has 28 days?
"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
What’s the difference between an Indian and an Arab?
One's responsible for 7/11, the other's responsible for 9/11.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.