Date jokes

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?

If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.

Q: Why was 10 afraid?

A: Because he was always between 9/11.

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?

Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?

Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.

Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.

Son: And you got $0.00.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?

Because no one forgets it! :)

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

Why is the number 10 always scared?

Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.