Date jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.
She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date? Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"