Date jokes
How do you call a very long terrorist?
9/11.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
The towers collapsed on 9/10, not 9/11.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?
(10 is in between 9/11)
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.