Date jokes
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
Five more days.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.