Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Date Jokes
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
Why was 10 scared? Because 9/11.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Why was ten scared? Because it was between 9/11.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?
(10 is in between 9/11)
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
