What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
ur hairline dates so far back like when your dad left
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
why did the the skeleton not go to prom? because he had no BODY to go with
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
How do you call a very long terrorist?
9/11.
