Date jokes
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
Five more days.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.