Date jokes
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.