Darkness

Darkness jokes

Dark side

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

Agent

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Skin

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Day

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Lightbulb

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

Sense

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

Dog

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Uncle

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Cheese grater

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

Cop

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

Blind Person

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

Flashlight

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.