Darkness jokes

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

What do you call a black man in the dark?

- Nothing.

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.