Dark Humor
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Memes
What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.