What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
