Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
Dark Humor
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
