Dark Humor

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple If you were a vegetable, I would visit u in the hospital

Man: Yelling at mailman.. realizes hes opening the mailbox. Mailman: theres a pipe bomb in your mailbox...

The doctor said I have until 230 to live. That’s like 20 years from he I said looks at the time it’s 230.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter and she asked which one was my kid and I said I haven't decided yet

What were the balloon's last words to his Father? Watch me, Pop!

Whats worse than 100 dead babies in a skip? The one thats still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out

I started crying when dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support

I left my boots on in the river and i drowned

Dark humor is like water, some people get it some people don’t.

What part of a vegetable can’t u eat? The wheelchair😑

my girlfriend's a two but she's turning 3 to tomorrow

I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common? They both squeal when you throw them.

A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. he says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave. the poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

Whats better than throwing up a stillborn? Making your wife eat it again