Dark Humor

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

2: I'm dying, finally.

3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Friend: How dark IS your humor?

Me: It started an organization against cops.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

What's better than throwing up a stillborn?

Making your wife eat it again.

What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.

My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪

These murder jokes are just KILLING me!

Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?

A: At least one does something when it is triggered.

What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.

Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?

A: You don't have to buy dog food.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.