Dark Humor
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Death once had a near Chuck experience.
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? 'Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did Sally have a black eye? She tried to play pattycake.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.