Dark Humor

What do emo kids and bats have in common?

They both hang from trees.

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

What's long and black?

The line to KFC.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.

Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they got nobody to call "daddy."

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

Cancer.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

"It won't matter, he's deaf."

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.