Dark Humor

What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.

This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

I replied, "I done it as a joke."

-April 1, 2020

What's worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.