Dark Humor
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.