Dark Humor
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.