Dark Humor
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.